Thinly slice the cabbage using a knife, mandoline, or food processor with a grater attachment.
Toast cumin and coriander in a dry skillet over medium heat until fragrant, about 1–2 minutes. Transfer to a mortar and pestle or spice grinder and grind finely.
In a large bowl, add kewpie mayo, lime zest, lime juice, olive oil, salt, pepper, ground spices, jalapeño, onion, and cilantro.
Add the cabbage and toss thoroughly until evenly coated.
Taste and adjust seasoning with more lime juice or salt if needed.
Chill in the fridge until ready to serve.
